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All you have to do is enter his details and click the search button. The tool will return a plethora of information including his recent online behavior, such as any dating sites he might have registered to and social media he has used.
You can see who his friends are on Facebook, and draw some conclusions on whom he might have cheated with. Just enter his name and location into the background checker to rule it out. So, read on to find out other common reasons he might be mean to you and nice with everyone else. There are high chances that you got to this page because you have been going through hell in the hands of your supposed loving husband, and you want to know why your husband is mean to you and nice to everyone else.
I want to state it here to you that you are most likely in an abusive relationship. He was going to be so caring and all over you. Both of you were fond of each other, until a few years later all of a sudden, he changed to the opposite of who he used to be. The world seems to have turned upside down. Your heart is rendered and torn apart. In the opinion of Lundy Bancroft, a writer, there are a number of abusive husbands, from Mr. Sensitive and so forth. What appears to be common amongst these categories of abusers is: they often wrap themselves in one of the most persuasive covers a man can have to subtly abuse you and make you a victim of a gaslight.
You are meant to be helpers to each other, not abusers. You will have to avoid letting him have his cake and eat it too, while also avoiding doing extra damage to the marriage. Either counseling or coaching are likely to be helpful to deal with these complexities. Two typical pieces of advice for women in your situation are to divorce or go to marriage counseling.
Neither of these ideas will actually lead to improvement. Trying to get him to work together will frustrate you and make you feel like giving up. However there are a number of things you can do to improve your relationship without his cooperation. Many women have been able to turn their relationship around without further help than this. If your situation is dire or you make some improvement and get stuck, I then recommend you get into either individual counseling or relationship coaching, depending on the nature of the problems in your relationship.
Here is a coaching package that I offer for restoring love with difficult spouses. Skip to content There is no single cause or cure for a relationship with a mean and disrespectful man. Which of the four reasons accounts for why your husband is mean and disrespectful?
Four reasons why your husband is mean and disrespectful There is no single reason that makes a man mean and disrespectful. Impulsive Impulsivity is when people react without giving much thought to future consequences. What you can do If your husband has a personality disorder , you are not going to change it. Seeks to self-medicate or avoid his problems Alcohol, drugs, sex, video games, and any other stimulating activity can help these men to avoid their stresses temporarily.
What you can do You must avoid personalizing his problem s and seeing them as something wrong with you. High conflict All conflict deteriorates marriages.
What you can do In order for your relationship to build , most of the time you spend with your husband needs to be positive. Reluctance to have a good time with you Men who are unfaithful or preparing to be usually avoid doing things with their wives which would actually make their relationships with their wives better.
Avoiding you In addition to treating you badly , if your husband is unfaithful or preparing to be, he is also likely to avoid being with you. Secretive behavior If your husband starts to carry his cell phone to the shower, suddenly password protects his electronic devices, and comes home late or leaves early for work without any good reason, unfaithful behavior is a likely suspect.
What you can do Confronting your husband for being unfaithful is not going to either get him to admit to being unfaithful or to make him more faithful. Use the appropriate skill to deal with each of these reasons Two typical pieces of advice for women in your situation are to divorce or go to marriage counseling.
To improve your relationship, you will need to learn how to: get his respect , deal with whatever situation is causing him to be disrespectful or mean, and learn how to build your relationship. Like what you've read? Share this:. Most men are unable to have a good relationship with their wives while they are chasing after other women. If he is avoiding to make your relationship better, it is because he is cheating or is preparing to have an affair.
In this case, he will be avoiding you and will pay more attention to where he leaves his phone. He will probably keep it turned off when he is at home. If he is, in addition, behaving secretly and comes home late or leaves early, it is likely that he is being unfaithful.
This is most likely to be the case if he is also avoiding being with you and is being mean to you for no apparent reason. You have to find a way to deal with him that best works for your situation.
Consider counseling or coaching as a solution to this. Even though we might think that anger comes from high testosterone, that is actually not true, and it is actually associated with the abuse of steroids, not testosterone.
Studies proved that men with low levels of testosterone could be more irritable and have mood swings. His diet and the quality of his sleep can impact his testosterone levels as well as his serotonin.
It is a stress hormone, and it could also be the reason why he is so irritable. Try talking to him about his job to see does his have a lot of stress at work and pay attention to his eating and sleeping to notice if the cause of his problem lies in his stressful lifestyle.
He is most likely comparing himself to others and feels like he is inadequate, which is making him have these outbursts. If he has been angry and mean always and not just recently, it could be that he was actually raised to think that this kind of behavior is manly and macho, so he is just trying to be a man because he is actually really self-conscious.
This problem could be resolved by counseling and maybe even just between you two if you get him to open up and talk about his feeling sincerely. If you have done something to cause this kind of treatment, you need to apologize to him and try to fix things. He has to choose to change. Only the weak and insecure men who are actually scared have the need to prove themselves by being angry and mean.
Remember that humor is the best medicine and use it as a shield. Try making him, and yourself laugh about his outbursts. As I said before, anger will pass, and you need to wait for things to cool down before you react.
What do you get when you smile at someone? You get a smile back. And if you stare at someone? You get a stare back. What you get is what you are. In other words, you can change your husband.
But not with your words; with your actions, your behavior. Say little, do much. Speak in vocabulary of your actions.
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